A Crow Story; First Power Request // Hollow Emergence

by **La Fuerza of the Flock** Sat Jun 13, 2020 12:49 pm

The Threads =========================

Chapter 1: Audience with a Crow // The oversaturated city of Karakura provides enough food for a Crow’s consciousness to form. They are perched along the path of a shinigami when a Crow steps out from the Flock to observe and learn. The bird’s fragile ego is shattered when emotions overwhelm them and they are quickly dispatched by the shinigami.

Chapter 2: Dead Ball in Karakura // The consciousness continues to evolve as a Crow finds themselves tantalized by the unique tastes of a soul. Not as otherworldly as a shinigami, but still strange and new. They approach, and the bird is able to use phrases they’ve heard to converse with the quincy before hunger overtakes their rational mind and the animal within attacks. The quincy, using an unorthodox method, dispatches the bird with a single throw.

Chapter 3: 木枯らし // Kogarashi // The consciousness within is growing more and more sophisticated with each death. They have yet to confront the growing hunger and seemingly black spots in their memory, but another encounter with a shinigami forces everything forward. The consciousness embraces the hunger within to stay cogent, but the hunger corrupts them. It’s only in the moments before death that the mind inside a Crow realizes they aren’t just a single bird, but the entire Flock.

The Story =========================

Life exists in multitudes. Blocks stacked on top of blocks on top of blocks on top of blocks. Systems and rules that maintain the balance within the universe regulate these blocks. Complexity emerges from the multitudes and we get the Cycle: a continuous flow of souls through life and death. The shinigami, one such system, regulate the flow for whatever reason, but every system has flaws.

Hollow are one such systematic flaw, the cancer cells of the universe. When a soul gets stuck up in the gears somewhere in between life and death it festers. It sits in the filth of the life it led not wishing to let go until finally it succumbs to the hunger within. Many hollow exist and have existed for ages past; many hollow are dealt with by the shinigami, as is their duty; many still linger and are left to continue their unbounded growth.

One such hollow is the Flock. A hollow of unique proportions, evolved to disperse itself over a scattered group of physical bodies to survive the ages. It flew where the concentration of souls was the largest and ended up in Karakura Town. There the hollow had their fill, picking up scraps from bigger predators and cornering smaller souls in dark alleyways. Over time, the souls accumulated within the multitude resulting in a spark of intelligence. Weak as it was, the spark didn’t last long, only able to survive inside of a single Crow. This is where the story began.

A Crow began to awaken and would leave the Flock to gather more intelligence. They had the freedom to reflect on the world around them in a concrete and mindful way. Over time, and after a few deaths, they learned of emotions and their animalistic drives; they learned of the hunger that drove the beast within them; and they learned of the world and the souls that inhabit it. All of this searching accumulated and the intelligence grew from a spark into a flame fanned by the will to survive. Finally, the mind became strong enough to realize that death was different for them. Other crows fell, but the Flock remained, and in the moment of death for a Crow during a fight between a shinigami, they closed their eyes and the Flock opened theirs.

The Power =========================

Rebaño de Mente Única // Flock of One Mind

A Crow Story; First Power Request // Hollow Emergence Source

The Flock, like all hollow, is made up of the multitude of souls that they’ve consumed over their cursed second life. Unlike other hollow, the Flock evolved to spread these souls across multiple bodies. Each one is a piece of the whole, like parts of a body. Given enough souls and enough time, the spark of intelligence formed and grew into a single mind powerful enough to control the Flock. The power of their mind not only lends them the strength to become the Flock, but also allows them to reach out to other hollow and speak with them telepathically. Threads of spiritual energy connect the Flock’s birds, threads only as strong as the Flock’s Affinity Skill. Like a body stretching, they can spread only so far before reaching their limits, but as they consume more souls the Flock grows bigger and bigger.

Passive // The Flock is a hive mind, a growing flock of crows controlled by a single mind.
Active // The Flock can speak telepathically to any hollow in sight of a crow.

[P.S. p u b l i c]

by **Meridith** Sun Jun 14, 2020 3:58 pm

The story of a Hollow who is indeed a Flock, both single-minded and yet autonomous. A story of three birds who died, and the Flock that observed, and learned from it.

Let's get into this.

PASS - Writing - The writing here is very solid. There are moments where I think you could choose to develop the imagery a little stronger such as the first time he speaks but your efforts to characterize a bird, the use of metaphor, really stand out. You can't move an ocean with a bucket was an extremely good line. Maintaining this level of writing is definitely an easy path forward but if I might give some advice, don't be afraid to move on past bits of the character's aesthetic that should change no matter how enjoyable they are. Let them evolve.
PASS - Release - Aesthetically great, narratively very fitting. Your whole arc is about this power and the evolution of this unusual Hollow to Gillian is well done.
PASS - Moment - When I look at the moment as a culmination of all three threads, it's extremely good. In each, a Crow dies and the Flock observes and it grows. This advice follows because I want to help frame for Second Release. A good moment builds from the previous work as this does in these three threads but it should also bring a lot of dynamic energy of its own. While they build nicely into this one there isn't a lot to this conflict that really shines. Helena is nothing to the Crow, the Crow is interesting to her but they have nothing going on. To be clear, this is your third thread, I'd be shocked if it was, I just want to help frame the expectation in the next.

However, the realization and growth is solid and real and feels like a natural course to the character.
PASS - Impact - It's fine! It's fine. It's good even. You thread with three people, you antagonize and bully them a bit and give them a weird and interesting encounter. Nothing earth-shaking, but it doesn't need to be. A solid PASS with a little + next to it.

Congratulations this is a very good request from a very good character who I am excited to see grow. A note, as we examine this site through a lens of mechanics it is important to frame, even for the sake of writing, fair abilities and limitations. Is this ability about the Flock's unusual survivability? Or is it about its ability to utilize it's many effectively against its prey? Happy to work this out with you, and have no issue with the premise.

Congratulations, CROW, from me and the rest of staff, you are approved for First Release!!!

A Crow Story; First Power Request // Hollow Emergence