The Naked Truth [Closed/Zenji]

Nao had wanted to fınd an excuse to talk to Zenji in private for quite some time since getting back from capturing the Quincy, but a full stack of inbound requests and reports, coupled with unease over telling him that one of his most hated enemies was currently locked away within striking distance had served as enough of a deterrent until now, though.

Had it not been for Yuki, she might have gone another week or so before practicality outweighed her nerves. One way or another, that bandaid was coming off today. Nao only hoped that it wouldn’t snag on any other bandaids and give them a stiff tug too. Murat’s incessant chirping inquisition over just what had happened after she tossed him to the side after her last time at the Hatayama estate had been irritating to say the least. The spirit seemed intimately familiar with the tumultuous feelings stirring up behind Nao’s anxious exterior, often enough that she regularly found herself daydreaming of a time when she couldn’t hear the blade, an act which only served to spur him to further chattering.

It was as such that, upon entering a more private meeting room Zenji had directed her to, she immediately set her tanto by the doorframe for some peace and quiet.

”Come on. Let me watch,” that voice pleaded as she set the blade in place snugly.

”No. You stay put,” she reprimanded back, a finger wag pointed at the weapon resting in its smaller sheath. She’d given up wielding the long katana-sized sheath recently. Enough people in First had learned of her weapon’s length and, if anyone was going to mock her over it, they were already doing so behind her back. It also helped that he could no longer get in her way, at least physically, by bumping into doors or making it uncomfortable to sit.

After a small bit of pacing as she awaited Zenji’s arrival, she finally found her way to a pile of cushions and pillows his servants had set to the side. It might be horrendously informal, but she felt she could finally be like that with him. Besides, it’s not like they were going to have any surprise guests this time around. A casual relaxing talk would be far better than trying to adhere to a strict meeting plan. They were peers, after all. Why shouldn’t they treat each other as such?

She watched him come in and eye up her blade, considering if she should explain herself but deciding not to as he sat down near her. It seemed as though he, like she had, had jumped straight to a formal posture. You can take the Shinigami out of First Division, but you can’t take the First Division out of the Shinigami.

”I never said you should have attacked him,” she said with a little smirk back of her own, ”Just that, if you were so content to use your Kido on Yuki, we might have been even better served keeping him out of it. The man embodies everything negative I’ve ever heard uttered about nobles in general. Not that I agree with those sentiments as apply to everyone from one of the families, obviously, but people like him give people like you a bad image to some.”

If Zenji had knocked Watari out and erased his memories of their meeting, she certainly wouldn’t be looking over her shoulder as often. She was used to feeling like a pawn, but it irritated her to no end to discover that she had been moving across the board facing the wrong side. Her supervisor had done something like that to her for decades and she’d seized the Third Seat in her anger over his actions. Watari was doing the same, only she wasn’t sure what the game they were even playing was.

”What’s done is done with Lord Suzumei, I suppose. I do have some news for you, as well, but I’d like to hear what happened with you and Yuki first. You mentioned the Quincy? Should we have some protection up for this?” she asked, propping herself up slightly in her little pillow pile to prepare to work a Bakudo if he felt that necessary and didn’t choose to do so himself.

Nao couldn’t disagree more with his assessment of Watari. Yes, they needed someone in Sixth, but there was no guarantee someone like Watari would stay in Sixth Division. The man seemingly had no regard for the actual law from what he’d told her, aside from bending it to fit his whims. He was a murderer who had mysterious contacts in the world of the living and whose reaction to finding out the Quincy still existed was to use them to permanently destroy the souls of whoever he wanted to use as a fall guy for his own misdeeds.

What was done was done and it would be impossible to wipe Watari’s mind at this point without severe brain damage, but if he had acted as soon as that bastard had opened his mouth and suggested they do away of otherwise innocent Shinigami for his own betterment, then they’d be in a much better place. She’d never played the nobles’ game before, but she couldn’t help but feel Zenji was leaving some of his cards face up for the man.

She didn’t have the stomach to challenge him on her worries about Watari, though. The last thing she wanted to do was get argumentative with him when she was about to reveal her recent accomplishment. The man would be liable to charge off and do something about it himself if he was angry enough, and that was the last thing they needed. Instead, she merely nodded as he expressed his concerns about Yuki.

Yes, the cursed girl was probably a little too naïve if she thought the Quincy could be anything other than the enemies of the Shinigami, at least as long as they had their destructive powers. She couldn’t tell if the man was more upset about Yuki’s betrayal in disagreeing with him or if it was related to her heretical views.

Probably a combination of the two

She patted a pillow near her for him to come over as he got back to talking about the incoming reports. ”Zenji, there’s nothing wrong with showing compassion for a friend, saying nothing of how hard it would be to explain Yuki dying in your estate. You did the right thing with her, and I’m sure we’ll be able to make her see the light in time. Now come over here,” she instructed him in a serious tone, taking her hands and pressing them together in a prayer-like motion. ”Silence, black dog of Rondaniini, Listen to your words and slit your own throat! Bakudo #28, Oudanmari,” she intoned peacefully, her spiritual energy crackling to life briefly as a greenish-orange barrier sparkled and faded into nothingness around them, muffling their words from escaping.

She let him get situated before continuing, sighing once as she collected her thoughts. ”If, for your designs with Fourth Division, you plan to use your cousin Zâbel, you should know that she may be somewhat busy working an assignment at my request,” Nao explained, some meekness creeping into her voice as she finished. It was wrong of her to borrow her without talking to Zenji. Nao knew that, but she hadn’t the time to act and the man was just as liable to kill the Quincy as he was to push his cousin to torture the man, and they needed to understand them more than they needed to kill them.

”Perhaps it would be best if we had some drinks, Zenji,” she said, squeezing her hands together lightly and willing a part of the barrier to visibly rematerialize and swing open in order to allow him to call out to his house staff. ”My nerves are still a little on edge and I could use something to help dull them.”

She felt the same shiver as he bumped into her, though her heart started to lightly race at the unexpected touch. Thankfully, she was already slightly blushing from her nerves over having stolen away his cousin, so her reddening face had an easy alternative explanation she could trick herself into believing.

Nao couldn’t possibly believe that a misguided friend was somehow less of an ally than someone who was probably planning to poison Zenji, but she couldn’t bring herself to contradict him beyond a single sad shake of her head. She hoped he would learn before the poison or knife in the dark found their way into Zenji’s body, but if they did she’d be damn sure Watari paid the price.

At his questioning about his cousin’s involvement, Nao pointed at the open barrier to indicate that she wouldn’t talk about it while others could hear. The matters she was looking into for Nao were so confidential that Zenji was the first person to hear of it outside of his cousin and her. The Third Seat had even omitted the abduction from her report for fear of news spreading.

”My new position is going well,” she said, relieved that he had moved on to matters they could discuss while the barrier stayed partially open. ”I’ve been reviewing performance reports for the whole Division to identify others who were being treated as I was in addition to several policy reviews. I had been revising the policy on fraternization when you were injured and finished rewriting it for the Lieutenant to review yesterday. There were all kinds of contradictions in it, something I’ve been noticing with an alarming number of our old outdated forms and policies. It’s a lot of work, but I’m making steady progress.”

She spent some time going over the slew of other forms and policies she had run into that needed updating. She could make several changes herself, but the big ones required she submit them to the Lieutenant for approval. The list was long, though, and she soon found herself making some progress into it as a figure appeared in the doorway. Contentedly smiling back at the servants who brought their refreshments, Nao gave the woman in front a little bow of appreciation as she added some extra fluff to Zenji’s sitting area by rearranging some of the pillows as he got up.

She swung the barrier closed after the servants had left, helping Zenji with the trays to ease the burden on his injured hands. With a little excited hum, she examined the selection and quickly snagged up a fatty piece of tuna sashimi, popping it in her mouth and melting back into her pillows as the soft fish practically dissolved in her mouth.

”So good,” she muttered out after swallowing, a look of contentment on her face. Taking the sake cup, she clinked it against Zenji’s cup and drank a sizable portion, actually taking the time to savor the taste instead of just downing it for liquid courage. She needed the assistance the liquor could provide, but the sashimi paired so well with the beverage that she couldn’t pass up the chance to enjoy it properly.

”So, Zenji,” she said, sighing briefly as she returned the cup to the tray between them, ”where to begin?” Zâbel’s research project was of supreme importance, though she didn’t see why it couldn’t transfer over to Third Division if the woman was going there. Her only worry was that Zenji would spoil the opportunity in his zeal to exterminate the Quincy as quickly as possible.

”I suppose the beginning would be best,” she reasoned out after a brief pause, ”After you came back with your injury, I went back to the world of the living to find out if I could have any luck. It took some time, but I was able to track down a Quincy of my own. The man was just as you’d reported. He obliterated a Hollow in front of my very eyes and was set to casually stroll off as if nothing had happened.”

She held for a moment, looking him in the eyes before continuing. ”I cornered the man after he attempted to call out to his clan for backup using some kind of human Denreishinki. He fought back and attempted to kill himself and me in a large explosion rather than be taken alive, but-” she hesitated, fearing his reaction. Eyeing the cup, she knocked back the remainder of the drink, savoring the burn and the initial creeping lowering of her inhibitions.

After pouring another glass, she sighed and resumed, ”I was able to protect myself and stabilize him. I snuck him back in to the Seireitei as a captive. That’s what your cousin Zâbel is working on for me. I filled out some paperwork for her to submit which should allow her to, at least for the time being, take the Sixth Seat in Fourth to allow her some independence in her research. The Quincy is currently locked away safely in a secure location while she researches the nature of his powers.”

Nao braced herself for the oncoming storm, locking her eyes. She didn’t think he would do anything to hurt her, but she wouldn’t have thought him capable of hurting Yuki either, and he had just confessed to wishing he had the strength to outright kill her.

She could get him the tea set without forcing him to come back, but Nao wanted to be able to see him off properly before he fully transferred to Third Division. She was going to miss having him around, that much was certain. Perhaps she could even see about following some of his cousin’s advice to give him a nice last day. The mere thought of doing something like that spurred a momentary flush in her face, though she managed to keep herself quiet on the subject.

Her heart skipped a beat as Zenji’s fingers found their way just above her wrist. She needed more alcohol in her system to believe that anything she was doing was remotely smooth, but she was able to suppress her skittishness and even bring her own hand over to rest atop his, squeezing it gently as she shook her head to indicate that she was unharmed.

A part of her had worried that Zenji might fly off the handle, but she hadn’t expected this level of anger over just finding out she had confronted one of the Destroyers. He’d faced off and killed two of them, after all. Surely she was right to go after a single isolated target if he could risk himself that way. It wasn’t like Zenji was going to be able to restrain himself enough to bring one of them back alive. The man’s passion for upholding the Balance was admirable, but they needed a delicate touch here just as much as his forceful Kido.

She let him take his hand back, nervously brushing her own hair clear as she struggled to keep his gaze, worried that she’d managed to hurt him so. She had been able to hold her will in place until his words turned on her, and she soon found herself unable to keep her eyes on his, turning her head down and staring into her cup.

”I would never do that to Xio, Zenji. You know that,” she pleaded with her eyes still locked on the sake as tears threatened to well up in them, ”I needed someone in Fourth I could trust, and you said yourself that she might work.”

”Her performance reviews were good, too,” Nao said, finding confidence to look back to him as she could put her call more on paperwork than on her own judgement, ”She also has a keen scientific intellect, which is what we need if we’re going to learn anything from them. We might be able to sterilize or cure them or maybe she’ll be able to use him so we can figure out a way to track them so that Fifth Division can find them better when the time comes.”

Her hands shook as she took another drink, trying desperately to calm her nerves, barely noticing that she’d managed to cut her glass down to about a third of its previous fill. ”Zâbel gets that, and we’re of the same mind there. We might disagree about how to go about other things, but she’s taking all the necessary precautions,” she said, blushing at the thought of what the woman had suggested she do to Zenji as she drank the remaining third and gave herself a refill.

She’d gone and fucked things up royally. Nao looked to the sadness and exhaustion obvious on Zenji’s face and in his posture, knowing it was all her fault. She should have told him earlier. They should have planned it out. She was supposed to trust him. That’s what friends did, but she had been in such a rush that she hadn’t stopped to think of that.

”I’m sorry, Zenji,” she said as she slid in next to him against the wall, her hand brushing against his. She longed to do something for him to make it all easier. Their conspiracy was stressful enough for her, but he had to deal with Watari. He had to review all of the reports she was sending over. He had to do all of this while planning to take control of a new Division. It was the same what she was going through, only she was loading her own stuff onto him and she’d only added more stress with her revelation about the Quincy and his cousin, all on top of trying to recover.

Her fingers, still resting close to his, stretched out and wrapped around Zenji’s good hand. Her heart was racing at the sheer emotional electricity, but she couldn’t’ shake the voice of his cousin from her head. She could never act as audaciously as what she’d been told to do, but she couldn’t take sitting back any longer. ”How can I help, Zenji. I,” she said, fighting through a nervous stammer, ”I want to be there for you. I care about your feelings.”

As she rested, her gaze fell upon her blade still sitting by the door. Murat would have echoed the same advice as she’d heard recently. Just grab it. Take what you want. She wasn’t going to figure her own feelings about Zenji or Tetsuya by just sitting around and mulling it over for another couple decades.

”Anything you can think of, Zenji. Just tell me and I’ll do it. No questions asked,” she offered, squeezing his hand gently in her own as she looked on and sighed at the sight of his worn out face.

She held her tongue as he talked, working up enough courage to speak just as he opened his mouth each time and stifling her objections out of deference for him, waiting for some kind of guidance how she could actually do more for him.

How could he see himself as weak? He’d proven the opposite countless times to her. Her heart wasn’t racing a mile a minute because the man whose hand she was holding was anything other that strong.

”Zenji,” she said, a hint of pleading in her voice, ”You don’t have to look at this as just you versus the world. I’m here with you. That’s why I took the Quincy captive. We need answers, and we’re not going to get them sitting around and waiting for a report to slip past our little net and make its way to a desk where someone will start things before we’re ready to deal with them. We can protect the Balance together.”

”We can keep our people safe together, Zenji, both from the Quincy and from whatever it is Watari is planning,” she continued on, squeezing his hand in hers and leaning her head to rest on his, giving a somewhat awkward half-head shake, half-nuzzle. ”Don’t call yourself weak, though. You saved my challenge and possibly my life. You took on two Quincy by yourself and ran into that bastard Anatoly and you lived to tell the tale. You started our plan to deal with them in motion by bringing us all together. You’re talking about climbing up to a position leadership for a reason other than your own self-improvement. Weak people don’t do half of that sort of stuff.”

She shook her head at Zenji’s rephrasing of his noble, heroic deeds as failures. Those two mortals wielded weapons that destroyed souls permanently and Anatoly never tortured him the way he had done Nao. That took strength of will, and she could recognize that in him. She only wished he could see it, too.

She was much more pleased that he corrected himself to include her. He was obviously loading too much on his back, but a willingness to consider her, even if it came after his initial thought, was a good sign. Maybe, if she was able to convince him, he’d be willing to lean on her more.

She allowed him to adjust himself, making a move herself and grabbing their forgotten cups, topping them off and handing him a drink before taking a much less aggressive sip of hers as he brought matters back to their plans. ”Of course you want to steal Xio away,” she said with a little amused huff, ”I was actually finalizing the paperwork on her promotion after what she did to assist our former Third Seat. She served admirably and could do well heading up our courier team, but if you think her aptitude with Kaido is enough that she would be a good fit for Third, I won’t stand in your way.”

She spared a glance over to Murat, imagining that the spirit would be taunting her for not securing something else in the trade. She was, after all, potentially giving up a trustworthy ally in the lower ranks so that Zenji would be better off. Something in exchange would only be fitting, wouldn’t it?

”Zenji,” she asked as she shook her head lightly and broke her gaze from the blade, ”Do you think we ought to do what our spirits tell us? I’ve been listening to mine more since I started my new position and that has honestly helped some, but I often find myself wondering where I ought to stop with him.”

Nao nodded along in agreement and understanding, both to his statement about his intentions with Xio and his plans for Third Division. She would miss having a reliable person she could call upon in First, but in the end the decision would be all up to Xio. Zenji might request she transfer, but if she had come to enjoy her time in First as Nao had, she supposed the young gardener might well stay behind against Zenji’s wishes.

As he talked of his belief on the nature and purpose of their spirits, she had another sizable sip, topping her glass off with some warmer sake and enjoying the bouquet and light spin the room seemed to have developed. ”A bit. He was silent for so damn long, and now I find myself wishing he’d just shut his trap again,” Nao confessed, dissolving somewhat into her pillow fort at his comforting smile.

”It’s always pressure this and twist that,” she said exasperatedly, making a rude gesture with her finger toward the tanto, ”And don’t get him started on-“

She stopped talking abruptly, a deep redness coming over her face as she realized what she had almost said aloud. She was playing into his hands even when he was on the other side of the room and not able to reach into her head. It would be impressive if it weren’t so alarmingly inappropriate.

Putting her head down and looking into her cup, she muttered out ”other stuff” in a bashful voice, swirling the drink and, somehow, feeling even more nervous than she had when they’d been physically touching. ”Sorry,” she apologized, eyes still stuck on the sake, ”I know we're not supposed to talk about them, but he feels more like what someone like Watari should have had as a spirit, not me.”

The idea of the Lord of Suzumei having the kind, sympathetic spirit Nao had always dreamed she might have was so amusing that she couldn’t help but laugh at the concept. A man like that, tied down forever with someone who actually cared for the people he had most likely murdered en masse? If the universe were just, he would have a voice constantly berating him for what he’d done. The universe wasn’t just, though. The Suzumei’s very existence near the head of the Justice Division showed that plainly.

She remained quiet as he spoke of his spirit, putting her entertainment at the thought of Watari being reprimanded by a motherly spirit aside as her dear friend shared his innermost thoughts and experiences. He seemed troubled by it, much as she was, and she soon found herself reaching across and grabbing his good hand in hers as he looked away from her to show that she was there for him.

As he told her of his spirit, she scowled. Zenji didn’t deserve to have to put up with a manipulator like that, not in his life and certainly not ringing in his head. She nodded along, finding too many similarities between her relationship with her spirit for her to chalk things up to coincidence. They were good people, that’s why their spirits were so bad. It was finally clear to Nao. Binbōgami and Murat were two in the same, just as she and Zenji were.

Her sad reflections were broken as he slipped in a self-deprecation, forcing Nao to smile back and shake her head. ”Come now, Zenji. You’ve been hearing her for longer than a few days. Murat only spoke up and helped me understand my abilities because Anatoly ripped him out of me,” she admitted, ”I was thinking that he’d done something to make him like this, but if yours didn’t change after he accosted you, maybe he was always there for me, too.”

”He’s frustrating,” she sighed, still holding on to his hand as she shifted over to rest up next to him, ”He always wants me to take shortcuts. Get my work done early, leave things in a half-done state and pass them off to someone else, skip work altogether, that kind of stuff. He’s the most unprofessional person I’ve ever met. I went to the place he lives in when Anatoly yanked him out, you know?”

She thought back on that room. The smell of the smoke in the air, the absurd levels of lavish office comfort he sought to live in, the taste of whatever drink he’d left poured out for her. It all reeked of excess and slacking off. Knocking the image clear with a shake of her head, she focused back on Zenji, getting momentarily lost in his eyes. ”He wanted me to come over earlier. He hounds me to come here almost every day,” she admitted to him, half-entranced in his gaze as the sake worked its magic loosening her lips as she shifted to a failure of a mock-baritone of his voice, ”Just say you have some reports he needs to look over. Ask him to review transfer requests with you. You’re not going to be able to order him around much longer if you want to get away with-“

She cut herself off, averting her eyes as she blushed a deep red as she realized what she’d almost said. She could have likely heard Murat chuckling if it weren’t for the words of Zenji’s cousin ringing in her head. Were they both right? Should she be more forward? Ought she try to take what she wanted? Did she even know what she wanted?

”Zenji? I, she asked bashfully, snapping out of her impersonation voice, ”there’s something he wants me to do, and I kind of want to do it too, but it would change things if I did and I don’t know what I’d do if that happened. Should I?”